Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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