maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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