I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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