to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
