Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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