Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
