if i can run in heels then i can drive
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
