I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize