I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
