Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
