The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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