why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
ok first of all what the fuck
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize