No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
