Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
