Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
