People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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