She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
