i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
