you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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