Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize