Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
