turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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