didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
