Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
