I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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