$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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