Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So I just went to clothing optional bar
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
