New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If I die, sorry about rent.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
