He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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