Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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