the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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