If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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