she smelled like a LAN party
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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