Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
