Got a toothbrush?
you win again, gameday.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
