a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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