I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
