great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
we're so committed to being not committed
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
