Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
