This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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