woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
