i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
