I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
