I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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