found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
