i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize