we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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