i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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