you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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