Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I could make wine with my vomit
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
