Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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