Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
