did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
