And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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