hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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