I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
