I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
