the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
