"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
