These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm too high and old for this...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
