Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
