did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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