Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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