I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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