this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
